Wordaholism

Memories

2008-05-10T10:36:00.000-05:00

I walk into the bedroom and into the living room. I can barely think about what I want to do. I can see what needs done but nothing seems to register or get me kick started. Sometimes the thoughts come and go, like fleeting shadows under the trees. Other times they are a little more substantial, like children playing hide and go seek among the oak trees and the meadow. I can see the thoughts appear from behind the tree or race across the meadow in my mind, yet I can never quite seem to catch up. Just a fleeting glimpse.

Memory: mental faculty by which things are recalled or remembered

I don't get it...

2008-02-28T12:14:00.003-05:00

I woke up this morning and a color popped into my head. Maybe it was a remnant from the dream I had (that I promptly forgot 10 seconds after I woke up). The word "burgundy" popped into my mind. I mean, I like the color fine and all, but why that one? People don't say burgundy often and I've seen it spelled about 4 different ways. I looked it up and it means a couple different things and it's a place. Burgundy is a place, y'all! LOL!

That color also brought me back here to blog about the color burgundy. Weird. I hadn't forgotten about Wordaholism--life kinda got in the way (in a good way). But it's really weird that I ended up here today rambling about the color burgundy. Sounds funny when you say it more than 3 times in one sitting.

burgundy: a dark purplish red to blackish red

A Nitroglycerine Tablet! STAT!!

2007-09-04T18:35:00.000-05:00

I miss Wordaholism.

Blogging seems to be one of those things where we tentatively dip our toes in the water, and either end up totally wet or we move on to other things. Since I started blogging a couple years ago, almost none of my original favorites are still in business (or not in their original forms).

Myself, I posted feverishly for the first six months, and then began trailing off; nowadays I may go two or three weeks between posts, followed by several posts in a single week.

But this place was my first exposure to community blogs, a collecting place for a bunch of friendly, smart people overseen by our Linguistic Denmother, Esbee.

Well, I'm not ready to let go yet!

Here's hoping Wordaholism might experience a

res·ur·rec·tion

n.

The act of rising from the dead or returning to life.
The state of one who has returned to life.
The act of bringing back to practice, notice, or use; revival.

Source: Answers.com / resurrection

every path of progress plugged by a pepperpot

2006-10-14T16:29:00.000-05:00

Many years ago I saw an episode of Monty Python's Flying Circus, in which they profiled an entity known as a

Pepperpot, n.
Pepperpot is a term created by Monty Python member Graham Chapman to describe a class of character frequently utilized in the group's comedy sketches.

Pepperpots are middle-aged housewives, usually British, portrayed by a male member of the group dressed as a woman and speaking in falsetto.
Courtesy of Wikipedia

And at the time I thought it was an awkward sketch about how annoying old ladies can be. I mean, they're just old ladies, what's so funny.

But now that I deal in the real world and often take up projects that concern the community or the neighborhood, I find myself vexed by these pepperpots!

To explain further, a pepperpot is a crotchety old lady who doesn't like change, or teenagers, or dogs walking past their lawn for fear that they might poop mid-stride.

The pepperpots of the world prevent progress. They say they liked things better the way they were. They have bad taste. They make it a habit to be a nuisance, probably because otherwise no one would have reason to pay them notice.

And now I realize that the fellows that made up Monty Python were probably thwarted by the same type of women in their young lives. I get it now, I get the sketch, it's funny.

Naked Baby Irony

2006-09-21T15:41:00.000-05:00

I saw this on the back windshield of a coworker's car this afternoon:

I guess you can't always see the babies in cars that have this sign on them. My coworker didn't want to be misleading, so she added the doll for illustrative purposes

I just don't know why the baby has to be naked.

there's always that guy

2006-09-17T18:03:00.000-05:00

I cannot escape The Letch

letch
n : man with strong sexual desires [syn: satyr, lecher, lech]

It seems The Letch is everywhere.

He's a client/patient/employee at your work, he's a neighbor on your block, he's an attender of your church.

You can't escape The Letch.

The Letch seeks you out if you are, female, relatively young and not severely disfigured.

He wants you to think he's charming, although he's either old or fat. I've yet to meet a Letch who is neither, and often he is both.

If you have the misfortune to be in contact with The Letch on a regular basis, The Letch hugs you. Ugh! Listen Letches, I'm not a hugger in the first place, and frankly I'd rather hug a leper than you. (Sometimes I feel like making a shirt that says, "Jesus loves you, but don't hug me.")

I usually feel common decency pressure to make small talk with The Letch. And although I'm just mostly smiling and nodding, he's hearing "she wants me."

I assure you Letches, we women, all women, do not want you. We might want to wax your back, but we do not want you.

"letch." WordNet® 2.0. Princeton University. 17 Sep. 2006.

I wrote you a letter...

2006-09-12T13:04:00.000-05:00

Each year, near the end of the summer, I write a huge entry in my journal with a vivid reflection of my year thus far. I just went back to that entry and read it. Though a lot of the reflection admired my kids and how much fun we had during our summer break, most of it was actually an open letter to my husband. I had no idea at the time, but I seemed to be writing directly to him. Nothing mushy or ridiculous, but my feelings for him were coming off of that page in the purest form of love. I wrote about how we've struggled together, how we've taken care of the family over the years, how we've handled some difficult situations between us and family, and how we're each flawed. The flaws make us human... and quirky! We love and embrace our flaws together. We even make fun of them occassionally! He's a great father... I always knew he would be, but to see it live is just about the sexiest thing and it's not even gift-wrapped!

I've only truly known (personally) two great men in my life; my father and my husband. Sad, but true. While I'm writing my entry for this year tonight, when I look back on it (if I'm drooling about my husband in print), I hope I feel the exact same way I do as I sit here and type this. While I'm trying to live my best life being a wife/mother/daughter/sister/friend, I'm insanely proud that I'm living it with a man of my husband's caliber at my side. I adore him.

pre·cious:
adj

1. Of high cost or worth; valuable.
2. Highly esteemed; cherished.
3. Dear; beloved.

Who has time for that?

2006-09-11T13:52:00.000-05:00

When we let Sammy outside in the morning, he runs straight to the side of the house and goes potty. After that, he has no schedule. He has nothing that he has to do. He has nowhere that he needs to be. He's free to do whatever pops into his head at each second as it ticks on by. There isn't a place in the yard where his toys aren't hidden (he puts his toys under things), so he can get them at his leisure. He spends a lot of time underneath the deck (the lattice to go around it so he can't do that anymore is on the HoneyDo list). If someone passes by, he might bark. But sometimes he doesn't. In his world of no appointments or deadlines, he actually has the time to bark like mad at a passerby... I wonder why he opts not to sometimes. Perhaps that would interrupt his nothing to do. Probably that would interrupt his train of thought; "There's a fly, look at this grass, the dirt tastes funny today, there goes a car, oh--that's just my tail, OH THE MAILMAN!!!!". Heaven forbid anyone distract SamMaster J from his daily appointment with NADA. He's living the life that I want to live for a day. For one day, I'd like to have his schedule.

dilly-dally:
(intr.v.)

To waste time, especially in indecision; dawdle or vacillate.

What's going on?

2006-09-05T19:06:00.000-05:00

For the past several days I have pulled up Wordaholism to see Wunelle's crow at the top of my screen. Today I decided to check the date above that crow. August 24. August 24? Has no one really posted anything here since August 24?

I doubt that, but whatever my computer is doing to prevent me from seeing anything since August 24 has me

stymied tr.v.

Thwarted; stumped: a problem in thermodynamics that stymied half the class.

The Crows Have It

2006-08-24T20:11:00.000-05:00

Overheard last night in Kentucky:

"Well, it's a heck of a drive, but it's really just over the next hill as the crow flies."

Quite apart from the speaker being a pilot--one accustomed, it struck me, to seeing the straight-line relationships between ground features which usually do not correspond to established ground travel modes--it just seems a very quaint, 18th Century mode of speaking.

as the crow flies (idiom)

In a straight line, by the shortest route, as in It's only a mile as the crow flies, but about three miles by this mountain road. This idiom is based on the fact that crows, very intelligent birds, fly straight to the nearest food supply. [Late 1700s]

Source: Answers.com

It's a Southern thing

2006-08-18T19:00:00.000-05:00

I took the youngest out today to teach him a skill I think will serve him well in life. On the way home, a ~~Yankee~~ friend from our Northern states called my cellphone so I told her about wee lad's new fun, and she had no idea what I meant by the word. I thought she was perhaps just not bright. When she disconnected I called another friend from the West Coast. Again, I had to explain what I meant.

I checked Answers.com when I got home and came up empty. Google found only a few mentions, all Southern. I checked by phone with a few Southern friends; they all knew the word. Clearly, therefore, this is a Southern word, if not an outright Southern phenomenon.

So let me clue in the rest of y'all.

creekstomp
verb, Southern U.S.
To go walking in a creek in a manner that purposely gets your feet wet. One doesn't leap from rock to rock and squeal when one's foot slips in, for example. This can also be done on horseback (traditionally bareback); again the intention is for the horse to walk directly on the creekbed.

It's okay to stand alone...

2006-08-16T08:25:00.000-05:00

So, I'm talking to my neighbor about kindergarten and giving her the skinny on the bus schedules and how lunch will work this year for our boys and she kept saying how she hoped our kids were on the same bus and in the same class and doing the same things together. Now, while this is harmless and well-meaning, I was thinking "I want my son to have his own experiences in the first days of his school career". I'm not the most studious person around, but I'm bright enough to recognize that he may miss out on OTHER experiences if he's pinned to the neighbor's kid--who has a tendency to cry about almost any and everything. I would like it if my son could possibly meet some new kids and sit with new kids on the bus. Broaden his horizons, if you will.

Five years ago, I would have just thought "Yeah, they'll have each other", but I've grown enough to know that at the beginning of his school career, he should be open to all things that are social (positive things, of course). I want to keep him that way--he's charged and ready to go, too. He positively cannot wait to step foot on that bus, see his new classroom, meet his new teacher, and mingle with new friends. That's what I want for him, as I see he wants it for himself.

One thing I missed when I was a child, that I've just gotten comfortable with as an adult is being okay with being my own person and doing my own thing.

individuality: n. 1. a. The aggregate of qualities and characteristics that distinguish one person or thing from others; character. b. An individual or distinguishing feature.

Hey, lion

2006-08-15T21:13:00.000-05:00

I recently heard an idiom I've never heard before. I cannot, unfortunately, remember the context - only the idiom. It's a wonderful turn-of-phrase, though.

beard the lion
idiom
Confront a danger, take a risk. This term was originally a Latin proverb based on a Bible story (I Samuel 17:35) about the shepherd David, who pursued a lion that had stolen a lamb, caught it by its beard, and killed it. By Shakespeare's time it was being used figuratively, as it is today. Sometimes the term is amplified to beard the lion in his den, which may combine the allusion with another Bible story, that of Daniel being shut in a lions' den for the night (Daniel 6:16-24).
"beard the lion." The American Heritage® Dictionary of Idioms. Houghton Mifflin Company, 1992. Answers.com 16 Aug. 2006. http://www.answers.com/topic/beard-the-lion

Really.

2006-08-12T12:04:00.000-05:00

The oldest is trying to charm me into taking him and his brother to a children's matinee on a rainy Saturday afternoon, when he knows full well that means the theater will be packed, loud, and stressful for me to navigate with two children who cannot carry their own drinks and popcorn very well through crowds.

So far he has, seemingly out of the blue, told me how pretty I look today, called me "really crazy smart", and hugged me "spontaneously" while reminding me he loves me roughly four thousand times.

butter up
idiom
Excessively praise or flatter someone, usually to gain a favor. This term transfers the oily, unctuous quality of butter to lavish praise. [c. 1700]
"butter up." The American Heritage® Dictionary of Idioms. Houghton Mifflin Company, 1992. Answers.com 12 Aug. 2006. http://www.answers.com/topic/butter-up

Whee!

2006-08-09T19:52:00.000-05:00

We gave the youngest his first "Big Boy" bicycle today. He promptly jumped on and took off. He never pedaled on his tricycle; we frankly thought we'd have to spend a few days teaching him how to pump with this leg then that one, this leg then that one. Clearly, he already knew how to pedal and pedal well; he was just saving his efforts for the

big league
idiom
1. Sports. A major league.
2. Informal. The most prestigious level of accomplishment.
"big league." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. Answers.com 10 Aug. 2006. http://www.answers.com/topic/big-league

let's see if I can remember this, this time

2006-08-08T14:38:00.000-05:00

I attended my cousin's wedding this past weekend.
There I met family from his father's side. His father is my uncle by marriage, so his cousins on that side weren't my cousins.
Or were they, I wondered.
What do I call them? My "cousin's cousins?"

I thought "maybe it's that twice removed thing!"

I just looked it up on Geneology.com, and no that's not what it means.
But here is what "removed" means:

Removed

When the word "removed" is used to describe a relationship, it indicates that the two people are from different generations. You and your first cousins are in the same generation (two generations younger than your grandparents), so the word "removed" is not used to describe your relationship.

The words "once removed" mean that there is a difference of one generation. For example, your mother's first cousin is your first cousin, once removed. This is because your mother's first cousin is one generation younger than your grandparents and you are two generations younger than your grandparents. This one-generation difference equals "once removed."

Twice removed means that there is a two-generation difference. You are two generations younger than a first cousin of your grandmother, so you and your grandmother's first cousin are first cousins, twice removed.

Reinforcing Bad Behavior vs. Getting Your Job Done

2006-08-05T21:56:00.000-05:00

Working in an animal hospital can get a little noisy at times. It can get pretty stinky too, but this post is more about the noise factor.

There was a sick little puppy in to see us today, and she was so terrified of being in her kennel that she screamed and screeched and whined from the second we shut the kennel door. We tried moving her to a front kennel so she could see us, we tried moving her to a back kennel so she could see the other dogs, we tried draping a towel over the kennel so she couldn't see anything, but nothing calmed her down.

It soon got to the point that my coworkers and I had to yell over her in order to hear each other, and it got very difficult to get anything done. I went over to the kennel, picked up the terrified puppy, and took her to my computer with me. She was immediately quiet. She spent the next half hour on my shoulder while I worked on my patient notes at the computer.

Even though I probably just taught her to scream and howl until someone pays attention to her, even if it takes an hour, it was nice to have a break and let everyone's headaches die down. It was also a good lesson in the skill that is valuable in any place of business:

mul·ti·task·ing (mŭl'tē-tăs'kĭng, -tī-) n.
The concurrent operation by one central processing unit of two or more processes.

multitask mul'ti·task' v.

(Come on, didn't the picture make you smile, just a little?)

Lesson for today: Do NOT try to stare down a monkey

2006-08-05T20:11:00.000-05:00

So, not long ago I was at a local national park and happened upon one of the ever-present Rhesus macaques (the most common monkeys you’ll see on a visit to India--not the kind in this picture), who was clearly looking for a little somethin’-somethin’. I had no food but was feeling cocky and decided to do what a primatologist friend explicitly warned me NOT to do—stare down a monkey. At first he was surprised that I was making direct eye contact and (after about 5 seconds) starting to get a little pissy (flashing his teeth). Although I kept a blank expression, he started going bonkers and made some aggressive attack gestures and howled for his friends and hissed and whatnot. Then I bared my teeth a couple of times and he went apoplectic. I think that if I’d not broken it off, he’d have actually summoned the courage (I’m a big, ugly guy) to attack. Moral of the story: don’t do that.

Sometimes I demonstrate remarkable amounts of

heb•e•tude (hĕb'ĭ-tūd', -tyūd')
n.
Dullness of mind; mental lethargy.

[Late Latin hebetūdō, from Latin hebes, hebet-, dull.]
hebetudinous heb'e•tu'di•nous (-tūd'n-əs, -tyūd'-) adj.

answers.com

Love Papers

2006-08-04T19:30:00.000-05:00

I run across them in drawers. I find them in boxes. I meet them stashed everywhere. They are the oldest's gift-drawings, which he gives to those he loves. We who love him back cannot bear to part with them, so we tuck them away, and then smile again when we come across them months or years later.

cache
noun
1. A hiding place used especially for storing provisions.
2. A place for concealment and safekeeping, as of valuables.
3. A store of goods or valuables concealed in a hiding place.
4. Computer Science. A fast storage buffer in the central processing unit of a computer.
[French, from cacher, to hide, from Old French, to press, hide, from Vulgar Latin *coācticāre, to store, pack together, frequentative of Latin coāctāre, to constrain, from coāctus, past participle of cōgere, to force.]
"cache." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. Answers.com 05 Aug. 2006. http://www.answers.com/topic/cache

Death and Life Hold Hands

2006-08-03T16:32:00.000-05:00

As one life ends another life begins...

begin v
Definition: come into being; become functional
Antonyms: die, end

And I am no more prepared for this than anyone...

Antonyms information about begin
© 1999-2006 by Answers Corporation. All rights reserved.

. . . Let's call the whole thing off.

2006-08-03T09:10:00.000-05:00

Most people think I'm a "bad driver." I don't agree, but yesterday was one of those days that make those accusations difficult to refute. I was in a big hurry to get somewhere (as usual) and I took a corner too fast. There was a very high, sharp curb, and, as I turned the corner, it literally JUMPED out and ATTACKED my front driver's side tire! I've never seen anything quite like it. My poor little tire was mangled. I keep telling people "I got a flat" but really, my boyfriend (who changed my tire in the extreme heat) insists I "caused a flat." Whatever.

"You say tomato, I say to-MAH-to"
Shall We Dance?, film score
Date: 1937
Main Performer: George Gershwin
Genre: Film
Period: Modern (1870-)
The film starred Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers; "Let's Call the Whole Thing Off" ("You say tomato, I say to-MAH-to") was originally paired with a sequence in which Astaire and Rogers dance on roller skates.
http://www.answers.com/topic/shall-we-dance-film-score

The Road

2006-08-02T22:53:00.000-05:00

My father died early yesterday morning just after I arrived back at the hospital. I spent the rest of the day making arrangements, calling relatives, choosing hymns.

This afternoon I wanted some quiet time, so I got in my car, cranked the air conditioning, and headed for my favorite road. I love my road. The trees shade a long stretch of it, as they are mature enough to almost meet high above the center of the road. The trees are as stately as columns, due in large part to their having been planted

equidistantly
adverb
The same distance apart at every point.
"equidistant." WordNet 1.7.1. Princeton University, 2001. Answers.com 03 Aug. 2006. http://www.answers.com/topic/equidistant

The Language at the End

2006-07-31T09:54:00.000-05:00

terminal
adjective
1. Of, at, relating to, or forming a limit, boundary, extremity, or end.
2. Botany. Growing or appearing at the end of a stem, branch, stalk, or similar part.
3. Of, at, relating to, or being the end of a section or series; final.
4. Relating to or occurring in a term or each term.
5. Causing, ending in, or approaching death; fatal.
[Middle English, from Latin terminālis, from terminus, boundary.]
"terminal." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. Answers.com 31 Jul. 2006. http://www.answers.com/topic/terminal

palliative
adjective
1. Tending or serving to palliate.
2. Relieving or soothing the symptoms of a disease or disorder without effecting a cure.
"palliative." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. Answers.com 31 Jul. 2006. http://www.answers.com/topic/palliative

How are you?

2006-07-29T09:09:00.000-05:00

My father's been in intensive care for 25 days now. Friends and family call me, asking if they can do anything to help. They can't. Then they ask how I am. They're concerned.

I know I sound flat. It's my way of getting through things: I don't allow myself to think. I'll crash physically and emotionally when this is all over, but for now I am completely on

autopilot
also automatic pilot
noun
1. A navigation mechanism, as on an aircraft, that automatically maintains a preset course. Also called robot pilot.
2. A state of mind in which one acts without deliberate effort or self-awareness.
"automatic pilot." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. Answers.com 29 Jul. 2006. http://www.answers.com/topic/autopilot

How cute!

2006-07-27T16:29:00.000-05:00

Not. Behold Bling Bling Barbie. Yes, her bellybutton has jewelry in it. Yes, she appears to be wearing athletic socks under her boots. And yes, she has on faux fur sleeves, seemingly unattached to her... her... blouse? Do we even call that a blouse?

My Scene Bling Bling Barbie is for ages 3 and up, according to manufacturer info provided to Amazon.com. Yes, you read that correctly. Three. 1-2-3.

reckless
adjective
1. Heedless or careless.
2. Headstrong; rash.
3. Indifferent to or disregardful of consequences.
[Middle English reckeles, from Old English rēcelēas.]
"reckless." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. Answers.com 27 Jul. 2006. http://www.answers.com/topic/reckless

I've never wanted to post a definition on this blog more than this one

2006-07-24T22:48:00.000-05:00

Yesterday we spent a sweltering afternoon with my extended in-laws. One uncle in law said his wife didn't come because one of her rabbits died and she was in mourning. Two of his other uncles immediately chimed in
"Oh the rabbit's dead?! So you're pregnant?!"

We, at least all of us under 50, said "what?! He said her rabbit died!"

And they said "yeah you killed the rabbit."

kill the rabbit
1. (obsolete) (idiomatic): To get a positive test result from an old-fashioned pregnancy test.
Etymology
Before the days of instant pregnancy test, a woman's sample was injected into a rabbit. There were several varieties of tests; one alegedly would kill the rabbit if the pregnancy hormone was present in the sample (most accounts indicate the rabbit was killed and disected either way.)

(And no, she wasn't pregnant, but the rabbit really was dead.)

I'll save you

2006-07-24T19:01:00.000-05:00

The best thing about having children is no matter how down or tense you are, somehow children are able to completely ignore it and you and carry on with the business of being children. Such is the existance of Super-Duckie-Stroller-Boy, as the youngest calls himself. From boots to cape to facial expression, he is only concerned with being

spectacular
adjective
Suggesting drama or a stage performance, as in emotionality or suspense.
"spectacular." Roget's II: The New Thesaurus, Third Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 1995. Answers.com 25 Jul. 2006. http://www.answers.com/topic/spectacular

"I'll have a heart attack on a plate, please"

2006-07-23T11:13:00.000-05:00

The Hamdog is a hot dog wrapped in a beef patty that is deep fried, covered with chili, cheese and onions, and served on a hoagie bun topped with a fried egg.
"Hamdog." Wikipedia. Wikipedia, 2005. Answers.com 23 Jul. 2006. http://www.answers.com/topic/hamdog

Just the thought of that makes me want to

toss my cookies
idiom
Vomit. This slangy euphemism dates from the first half of the 1900s.
"toss one's cookies." The American Heritage® Dictionary of Idioms. Houghton Mifflin Company, 1992. Answers.com 23 Jul. 2006. http://www.answers.com/topic/toss-one-s-cookies

There's sprinkle, there's shower, there's storm

2006-07-22T17:39:00.000-05:00

And then there's

deluge
noun
1. A great flood.
2. A heavy downpour.
"deluge." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. Answers.com 22 Jul. 2006. http://www.answers.com/topic/deluge

And those occur frequently here in Carolina during the summer, but never for very long.

Really?

2006-07-21T15:21:00.000-05:00

"You almost have to have a calling from the Lord to do this type of work."
- Steven Turnage, whose job it is to dress up in a chicken costume to promote a fast food restaurant, as quoted in this article on the Washington Post website

pish
interjection
Used to express disdain.
"pish." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. Answers.com 21 Jul. 2006. http://www.answers.com/topic/pish

Take that!

2006-07-19T13:13:00.000-05:00

I'm reading the AP Wire on the Washington Post website, which I do at least once a day, when this catches my eye.

Customer Subdues Robber with Applesauce
The Associated Press
Tuesday, July 18, 2006; 11:35 PM

PHILADELPHIA -- A customer at a city grocery tackled an armed robber and beat him with a can of applesauce when he refused to drop his gun, police said.

And honestly, the first thing that goes through my head is, "I've never seen applesauce in a can. In a glass jar, sure, and in individual plastic cups, certainly, but a can? A can of applesauce?"

distract
verb
1. To cause to turn away from the original focus of attention or interest; divert.
2. To pull in conflicting emotional directions; unsettle.
[Middle English distracten, from Latin distrahere, distract-, to pull away : dis-, apart + trahere, to draw.]
"distract." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. Answers.com 19 Jul. 2006. http://www.answers.com/topic/distract

the truth comes out

2006-07-19T13:01:00.000-05:00

Anyone else who's the youngest child knows what I'm talking about. We're not baby-people naturally.
I was the baby, therefore was not exposed to babies and until I had one, I wanted them to all stay 20 feet away from me at all times.

But being a woman, I would catch flack from other women because I had never changed a diaper, and didn't (want to) know how to work babies. Many peers of mine acted like they

wrote the book on

Knows nearly everything about, This expression is always put in the past tense. [Colloquial; second half of 1900s]

babies and I was a big idiot.

But now their supposed expertise has been shattered in the face of an actual baby. One that they don't just teach at gymboree for an hour.
My baby (and her idiosyncracies) has rocked their world. They don't know what to do with her at all.

I must have not been born with that competitive-woman-sewing-circle-I-know-kids-more-than-you-do gene

Too hot to even bark

2006-07-17T15:01:00.000-05:00

Today's high temperature was predicted to get up near 100, with heat index at 110. Tomorrow is supposed to be roughly the same. I'm not sure why they're called the dog days, when my dogs don't even want to be outside on days like today.

dog days
idiom
Hot, sultry summer weather; also, a period of stagnation. The term alludes to the period between early July and early September, when Sirius, the so-called Dog Star, rises and sets with the sun. The ancient Romans called this phenomenon dies caniculares, which was translated as "dog days" in the first half of the 1500s.
"dog days." The American Heritage® Dictionary of Idioms. Houghton Mifflin Company, 1992. Answers.com 17 Jul. 2006. http://www.answers.com/topic/dog-days

Oh. That's why.

biting his bottom lip

2006-07-15T18:29:00.000-05:00

The oldest approaches me, biting his bottom lip.

Mom? Is everything different because Grandpa's sick, or are some things still the same?

I'm not sure what he's getting at, so ask what he means.

Mom? Like, are Daddy and I still going on our trip, or is that cancelled, too?

Ah. The trip. Long planned, long awaited. A few days of just Dad, all to himself.

No, baby, that's the same.

I smile to reassure him.

So, we're going then?

His voice is rising with excitement. And now I am grinning as I assure him he is.

And it's tomorrow? That isn't changed?

He's practically dancing now. I take his hands in mine and cha-cha with him as I reply,

not for all the tea in China
idiom
Not at any price, never. This term originated in Australia and alludes to the presumed huge quantity of tea in China. [Late 1800s]
"not for all the tea in China." The American Heritage® Dictionary of Idioms. Houghton Mifflin Company, 1992. Answers.com 15 Jul. 2006. http://www.answers.com/topic/not-for-all-the-tea-in-china

Heeeeere's Lucifer!

2006-07-13T10:54:00.000-05:00

I'm in my father's hospital room. He's asleep. I've met with one of his doctors; now I'm waiting on another to discuss where we go from here. My father's nurse comes in to check one of his myriad of machines and asks if I've seen the second doctor yet. Just then, the doctor in question walks into the room, so, of course, I say

speak of the devil
idiom
The person just mentioned has appeared. This expression is a shortening of the older Speak of the devil and he's sure to appear, based on the superstition that pronouncing the devil's name will cause his arrival on the scene. The figurative use was already explained in James Kelly's Scottish Proverbs (1721).
"Speak of the Devil." The American Heritage® Dictionary of Idioms. Houghton Mifflin Company, 1992. Answers.com 13 Jul. 2006. http://www.answers.com/topic/speak-of-the-devil

have we no conscience?

2006-07-11T20:21:00.000-05:00

I love MSNBC's series To Catch a Predator.
Have you seen it? Its great. Even if you just want to make fun of the fools, its great.
The premise is that adults at NBC pose as 13/14 year olds in chat rooms and then when the pervs come to meet them, they arrest them.

I thought everyone could pretty much agree that child molesters are bad. Right?
Moreover, that catching them before the hurt someone is even better than prosecuting after the crime. Right?

Apparently there are many of my generation that disagree.

We've discussed the show with people in the 20-30ish range and most say "I don't like how they trick them. That's wrong."
Trick?!
They typed out in black and white their lewd intentions and then drove many miles to get to that child home alone!
I don't see how that's a violation of rights, anymore than police surveillance would on a man who threatened to kill his wife.

I'm realizing that my generation is a bunch of anarchists. The only thing we usually agree on enforcing protecting the environment, but that's about it.
There are many who think we should be able to do whatever we want as Americans.
Prostitution? Why not?
Pornography? Free speech.
Arrgh! It makes me so mad. The whole attitude of mind your own business and live your life because nothing is wrong, it's only your perception, is so aggravating.

Ok, maybe my generation is just a bunch of

Libertarians, n.
persons who belong to the Libertarian political party.
Libertarianism is a political philosophy[1] advocating that individuals should be free to do whatever they wish with their person or property, as long as they do not infringe on the same liberty of others.

R and R

2006-07-10T16:18:00.000-05:00

Esbee's marking of Wordaholism's one year anniversary reminded me that I had not posted here in a while. I have another blog that gets most of my energy, and I've not posted much on there either for several weeks now.

When one first begins this blogging business one is faced with a mass of information about what makes a good blog and what one can do to bring readers and popularity to one's blog (that was the case for me, anyway). And so I duly spent my first 1/2 year or so attempting to post regularly so that my few habitual readers would find something fresh when they stopped by. And, following Esbee's lead, I even brought in a contributor both to bring some variety and to assist with keeping a regular stream of posts.

But I've come to realize that many of the recommendations offered to me are in pursuit of different goals than mine. I honestly don't want 10,000 hits a day; I wouldn't want the pressure to keep all those readers happy, nor the inevitable issues that would arise from the comments generated. No, I'm happy with a simple outlet for my desire to write things down, and with a small number of engaged readers--pen pals, almost. I think this was my underlying goal from the start.

But that doesn't mean that I should let that small number keep running into the same post for two weeks at a time! But summers are somehow busier, even without kids. There's yard work to attend to, and weekend trips to take, friends visiting and friends to visit. All things that cut into one's time at the keyboard. Plus I've wondered at times about the amount of time spent talking about life, some of which might be spent living it. Here's the opportunity to test this hypothesis!

So I'm coming to think that maybe blogging is, for me, a rest-of-the-year activity, something best suited to cold winter days when I'm looking for a reason not to go out side.

Summer is my

fallow period.

adj.

Plowed but left unseeded during a growing season: fallow farmland.
Characterized by inactivity; undeveloped but potentially useful: a fallow gold market.

Happy Bloggiversary!

2006-07-09T08:31:00.000-05:00

Wordaholism is one year old today. 365 days and 588 entries.

Accordingly, we present a boring highlight show, which practice I believe to be

de rigueur
adjective
Required by the current fashion or custom; socially obligatory.
[French : de, of + rigueur, rigor, strictness.]
"de rigueur." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. Answers.com 09 Jul. 2006. http://www.answers.com/topic/de-rigueur

The Top Posts (by direct hits)
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006

Top 3 Educators' Posts (by email feedback)
hero (related assignment: define hero by action, using specific people as examples)
wet Keds (related assignment: use a pair of shoes to tell a story)
portmanteau (related assignment: create one. One class created some absolutely superb ones, which their teacher sent me.)

Happy Bloggiversary to the Contributors!

Cheery!

2006-07-08T17:20:00.000-05:00

The oldest hands me a folded piece of paper. "Here. I drew it to cheer up Grandpa. Take it with you to the hospital, OK?" The oldest isn't old enough to visit on the intensive care unit, but this is something he can do for Grandpa.

I don't have the heart to tell him Grandpa probably can't see anymore.

I open the piece of paper. The oldest has drawn the sun shining brightly. There's a nice blue sky. The grass is plentiful and green...

...And there's Pep, his shepherd mix dog, with sharp teeth and wolflike ears. She is in a fighting posture. She has trapped a field mouse and is clearly about to kill it, something she loves to do. The mouse has a fearful expression and a speech bubble that says, appropriately enough, "Eek."

In this case, I think my father's lack of vision may be a

blessing in disguise
idiom
A misfortune that unexpectedly turns into good fortune. [Mid-1700s]
"blessing in disguise." The American Heritage® Dictionary of Idioms. Houghton Mifflin Company, 1992. Answers.com 08 Jul. 2006. http://www.answers.com/topic/blessing-in-disguise

True story: when I was ten years old, I sent my grandmother, ailing in the hospital, a poem I had written called When a Woman Dies, full of ghastly imagery and ghoulish rhymes. She recovered from her illness and saved the poem, why I do not know. I still have it.

Intensive Care

2006-07-07T06:37:00.000-05:00

One of my father's pumps is beeping again. A nurse is immediately there, checking his picc-line and resetting something. There's a flurry of activity as another nurse comes in to adjust his oxygen and someone comes from Nuclear Medicine to transport him, all at once. A man from housekeeping slips in and out to change the needle bin.

I step back to get out of the way, feeling utterly

inutile
adjective
Lacking in utility or serviceability; not useful.
[Middle English, from Old French, from Latin inūtilis : in-, not; + ūtilis, useful.]
"inutile." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. Answers.com 07 Jul. 2006. http://www.answers.com/topic/inutile

You're killin' me here...

2006-07-06T16:39:00.000-05:00

We have plans to go to Las Vegas in August for our anniversary, just my husband and I. While making these plans, we were searching for airfare and we were shocked at the prices of the tickets. About 3-4 months ago, when we booked our flight for Dallas, the tickets were slightly elevated for our tastes, but not so much that it left us open-jawed and frustrated. Well, all the airlines are charging an arm and a leg for 2 tickets to Vegas! I can vaguely remember when airfare was pretty reasonable and if the average joe wanted to jump on a plane and go visit a friend, they could without much of a glance at their checkbook. That average joe used to be ME! Now? We haven't been many places because of airfare.

Anyway, we booked our flight and we're on our way, but the sticker shock hasn't worn off. My eyes glazed over and I think I died for about 4 seconds after I hit the submit button on Expedia.com. This vacation is going to be a lot of fun and it was well worth it (to relax with each other sans our wonderful children for 4 days--they'll get some Mammaw time), but the price paid was completely ridiculous!

un·con·scion·a·ble ( adj.) :
1. Not restrained by conscience; unscrupulous: unconscionable behavior.
2. Beyond prudence or reason; excessive: unconscionable spending.

http://www.answers.com/topic/unconscionable

Come with me, Sammy...

2006-07-04T09:36:00.000-05:00

The first time I saw Sammy, I was browsing the internet and I was looking for him. Only, I had no idea I was looking for him! When I saw his face, I fell in love. I clicked the link to get more information about him and I called to ask if he had already been adopted. His information said he was 3 years old, so he'd be a perfect fit for our family. He hadn't been, so my family and I went to visit with him the next day. When we first met him, he was very excited, on the hyper side really. He didn't make much noise, he was a very proud little guy. One thing I noticed about him is that he had a pretty fresh haircut, as if someone cared for him before he was put up for adoption. Also, when we asked him to do something, he did it. When we asked him to sit with us, he did it promptly, without hesitation. He loved our boys and was very gentle with the baby, like he could feel his trepidation (the "baby" is 3 years old and he's afraid of almost everything, but he wasn't afraid of Sammy). He stole our hearts in a matter of days! The day after our visit at the shelter, we drove back (an hour and 15 minutes) and picked up our boy, Sammy.

Come to find out, the shelter was wrong about his age. Our vet says he's older than 7 months old, but he's not much older than 1 years old! Ha! Sammy Wammy is a baby and he demonstrates that daily. We love him so. He'd been in the shelter for 10 days and I can tell that his spirit was being kind of oppressed there. He's in much better spirits now. He's been to the groomers and he smells LOTS better now. He's a handsome little fella and I am proud that we played a part in his...

deliverance: (noun) the act of delivering someone or something : the state of being delivered; especially : LIBERATION, RESCUE
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/deliverance

Courtesy of the Warner Brothers?

2006-07-02T06:53:00.000-05:00

I've spent the past week in the spectacular province of Alberta. And have LOVED it. However, when getting change I found myself startled to repeatedly hear the question, "Would you like Loonies or Toonies?" It took me a bit to understand the terms, and it made me feel a bit:

loon·y or loon·ey also lun·y (lū'nē) Informal.
adj., -i·er also -i·er, -i·est also -i·est.
Extremely foolish or silly.
Crazy; insane.n., pl. -ies also -eys, or -ies.
A foolish or crazy person.
[Shortening and alteration of LUNATIC, or from LOON2.]

answers.com

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loonie

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toonie

Raising a Suth-uh-nuh

2006-07-01T17:53:00.000-05:00

When I was growing up, my mother used to sometimes take my hand and squeeze it three times. It meant I love you. One squeeze per syllable. It was a way to convey a bit of sweetness in situations where talking wasn't called for.

I have carried on the tradition with my oldest. Today I took his hand and gave it three squeezes. I love you. He immediately took up my hand to return the sentiment.

squeeze
squeeze
squeeze
squeeze
squeeze
squeeze
squeeze
squeeze
squeeze
squeeze
squeeze

I looked at him completely puzzled, so he did it again, this time whispering a syllable for each squeeze.

squeeze YOU
squeeze ARE
squeeze THE
squeeze BEST
squeeze MOM
squeeze IN
squeeze THE
squeeze EN
squeeze TI
squeeze UH
squeeze WORLD

En-ti-uh. It's how he says "entire". Even his squeeze messages have a little drawl.

drawl
noun
A drawl is a perceived feature of some varieties of spoken English, and generally indicates longer vowel sounds and/or diphthongs. Varieties of English which are said to feature pronounced drawls include Southern American English and Australian English, especially Broad Australian English.
"drawl." Wikipedia. Wikipedia, 2005. Answers.com 01 Jul. 2006. http://www.answers.com/topic/drawl

Like bread

2006-06-29T19:11:00.000-05:00

I'm on the phone with my cousin, catching up. She asks what grade my oldest is in.
I say, "He'll be in second this fall." When I hang up, he's waiting.

"Mom, just say I'm rising."
"Rising?" I'm confused.
"Yes, I'm rising up into second grade."

Ah. Rising.

rising
adjective
Advancing or becoming higher or greater in degree or value or status.
"rising." WordNet 1.7.1. Princeton University, 2001. Answers.com 30 Jun. 2006. http://www.answers.com/topic/rising

Park your ark (but just for now)

2006-06-27T17:57:00.000-05:00

After what feels like 40 days and nights of rain, the clouds have parted briefly. The sun is peeking out, and the roads look almost completely dry. Alas, I was about to be lulled into a false sense of dryness, but when I stepped onto our back lawn, it audibly squelched.

squelch
verb
To produce a splashing, squishing, or sucking sound, as when walking through ooze.
"squelch." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. Answers.com 27 Jun. 2006. http://www.answers.com/topic/squelch

The rain is due to start back up in 4 days.

Zee

2006-06-25T10:11:00.000-05:00

The illustrations are darling; I'll give the book that much. I want to reach in and shake hooves with the little zebra, Zee. But otherwise, the library book my youngest son chose is awful.

For instance, the zebra parents? Feigning sleep. While little Zee is awake and meandering around the house by himself. And he tells us right off the bat they will be angry if he wakes them. So he is fumbling around the kitchen, making coffee for them so they might wake up. NICE HOT COFFEE. He trips on a toy and VERY NEARLY BURNS HIMSELF, but is mostly concerned with the spilled coffee. Because now his parents won't wake up happy. Are you getting all this?

Finally he takes the remainder of the coffee to them in doll cups, and they complain about it and decide not to get up because it isn't enough coffee. The End. Happy, happy end.

I am so appalled by this book. It flies in the face of nearly every parenting belief I have.

fly in the face of
idiom
Also fly in the teeth of.
Act in direct opposition to or defiance of. This metaphoric expression alludes to a physical attack.
[Mid-1500s]
"fly in the face of." The American Heritage® Dictionary of Idioms. Houghton Mifflin Company, 1992. Answers.com 25 Jun. 2006. http://www.answers.com/topic/fly-in-the-face-of

Vet care, STAT!

2006-06-24T14:01:00.000-05:00

The children and I are playing veterinary clinic, pretending their stuffed animals are ill. I'm the frantic pet owner. They, of course, are the doctors. We have a toy medical kit, a brush (for tangle emergencies), and a notebook in which the oldest is dutifully recording details of maladies and treatments.

I pick up the stuffed toy chicken for Dr. Oldest Son to examine. He jumps right in, but quickly stops; he has a few questions. First, he wants to know where the chicken's ears are so he can look inside. I haven't the foggiest. Next, he wants to know if chickens have knees so he can beat on them with the little mallet to test the chicken's reflexes. I'm at a loss again, and it occurs to me that my knowledge of actual chicken anatomy is

sketchy
adjective
1. Resembling a sketch; giving only major points or parts.
2. Lacking in substance or completeness; incomplete.
3. Slight; superficial.
"sketchy." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. Answers.com 24 Jun. 2006. http://www.answers.com/topic/sketchy

Summer Storm

2006-06-23T19:06:00.000-05:00

As soon as the lightning calms down a bit, the boys and I go onto the back porch to watch the remainder of the storm. The raindrops are fat and coming down steadily. Every now and then, we are rewarded with a flash of lightning; we count one-Mississippi, two-Mississippi to calculate how far away it is.The hail is teeny-tiny; it looks like the rock salt used in large cities to melt ice. The sky is that odd shade of yellow-grey that summer storms in Carolina produce. The air smells clean and crisp, and I am struck by the sudden overwhelming urge to be hiking on Pilot Mountain.

The children and I will all sleep deeply tonight. The sound of the rain hitting the roof is our favorite

berceuse
noun
1. A lullaby.
2. A soothing musical composition, usually in 6/8 time.
[French, feminine of berceur, cradle rocker, from bercer, to rock, from Vulgar Latin *bertiāre.]
"berceuse." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. Answers.com 24 Jun. 2006. http://www.answers.com/topic/berceuse

Please be there

2006-06-22T21:33:00.000-05:00

It's taking too long, the youngest's appointment with the dietician. He's bored, and he's beginning to fret, so close to the lab. He wants to put some distance between himself and the needles.

When it's all over, I hold his hand as he runs back to the elevator. He runs when he comes off the elevator, too. I hold his hand as we get in another elevator, one that takes us up, up, up. When we get out, we go up an open-air flight of stairs to yet an even higher level.

I'm holding my breath as we come up the last few steps, hopeful, expectant. I am not disappointed.

His face breaks into a wide smile, the first since we arrived. And then he reaches out, even though he knows it's across another rooftop, and tries to touch the medevac helicopter.

medevac
noun
1. Air transport of persons to a place where they can receive medical or surgical care; medical evacuation.
2. A helicopter or other aircraft used for such transport.
[MED(ICAL) + EVAC(UATION).]
"medevac." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. Answers.com 23 Jun. 2006. http://www.answers.com/topic/medevac

Oh My Goat

2006-06-21T19:42:00.000-05:00

My three dogs, all Germalian Shepherds*, went to be groomed. The lady kept talking about using a number 7 this or a number 5 that. I had no idea what she meant and finally left, saying, "Just make them look pretty." At least, I'm fairly certain that's what I said. What she heard, however, was "Make them into goats." Each of the dogs was very nearly shaved, with all fringe around the faces and legs removed, but the tails were shaved for an inch then left intact, looking much like large feather dusters. If only the dogs had shorter legs, they would be dead ringers for gigantic squirrels, but as it is, they resemble goats. Barking goats.

My husband took one look at the poor things and said, "They look like they're sporting the doggie equivalent of the

mullet
noun
A haircut that is short in the front, on the top, and on the sides, but long in the back. Mullets have been worn by males and females of all ages, but they have traditionally been most popular with younger men. A slogan or motto often associated with people who wear mullets is: "all business up front, all party at the back."
"mullet." Wikipedia. Wikipedia, 2005. Answers.com 22 Jun. 2006. http://www.answers.com/topic/mullet-haircut

*Germalian = German and Australian Shepherd mixes.

Wow

2006-06-19T17:28:00.000-05:00

I opened my mail today to find a handwritten, incredibly sad, and absolutely unexpected letter, one that the writer felt was long overdue.

I'm simultaneously filled with joy, sorrow, and excitement. I'm also

gobsmacked
adjective, slang
Flabbergasted, astounded; speechless or incoherent with amazement.
(prob. from Irish/Gaelic gob, mouth + smack; literally, smacked in the mouth)
"gobsmacked." Worthless Words for the Day. Michael F. Fischer, 2005. Answers.com 19 Jun. 2006. http://www.answers.com/topic/gobsmacked

You could be rich! Want to lose weight? Grow new hair overnight!

2006-06-17T19:34:00.000-05:00

The offers pour into my email's spam box. In the past two days alone, I've been offered "no-risk" information about how to obtain a university degree by mail, buy prescription medications for less, and make money just by surfing the net.

My father's pet phrase for offers like these is

flim flam
noun
1. Nonsense; humbug.
2. A deception; a swindle.
"flimflam." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. Answers.com 18 Jun. 2006. http://www.answers.com/topic/flimflam

Dream a little dream for me

2006-06-16T20:18:00.000-05:00

Last night I dreamt Fond du Lac was actually named Fondue Lac and that was where we were on a vacation, but I was arguing with some man, who was a stranger, I think, and who was getting a little snotty about Wisconsin cheese superiority, because frankly, my two favorite cheeses are from Bavaria and England, in that order, and my husband kept holding me back because I was screaming and posturing for a fight, a physical fight, because cheese was apparently a very important issue to me and then the dream switched to something else that I can't remember, but I do remember wanting to kick that strange man something fierce and I was totally pumped for it.

belligerent
adjective
1. Inclined or eager to fight; hostile or aggressive.
2. Of, pertaining to, or engaged in warfare.
[Latin belligerāns, belligerant-, present participle of belligerāre, to wage war, from belliger, warlike : bellum, war + gerere, to make.]
"belligerent." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. Answers.com 17 Jun. 2006. http://www.answers.com/topic/belligerent

For the record, I have never been in a physical altercation of any sort.

Yawn

2006-06-15T21:09:00.000-05:00

I'm bored. I do the same things day in, day out. I need something exciting, something fascinating. I need... I need... a hobby!

parfilage
noun
The unravelling of gold or silver thread from laces, epaulets, tassels, etc.; fashionable as a pastime among ladies, esp. in France, in the latter part of the 18th century.
"parfilage." Worthless Words for the Day. Michael F. Fischer, 2005. Answers.com 16 Jun. 2006. http://www.answers.com/topic/parfilage

But not that one.

Adults left to their own devices

2006-06-14T12:41:00.000-05:00

My friend E. and I are out on the town, alone, families ditched at home. We've eaten dinner; now we're shopping. No children demanding to be heard, no noses to wipe, no diapers to change. It's all very grownup and relaxed and quite a pleasant change.

And then E. asks, "What's invisible and smells like carrots?" I shake my head and say, "I don't know. What?" She looks me dead in the eye and says, "A bunny fart." And now we're laughing until we have tears in our eyes, and I can't wait to get home to share it with the oldest.

jocose
adjective
1. Given to joking; merry.
2. Characterized by joking; humorous.
[Latin iocōsus, from iocus, joke.]
"jocose." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. Answers.com 14 Jun. 2006. http://www.answers.com/topic/jocose

Come again?

2006-06-13T09:48:00.000-05:00

The youngest wants some sympathy. When I ask what's wrong, he tells me he hurt his toes. When I ask how, he tells me he was kicking his older brother. Then he asks for a hug.

I am immediately reminded of this story from yesterday, which reads in part:

A man who was beaten by employees of an auto parts store he was trying to rob is now suing the store and those employees.

Police say Dana Buckman entered the AutoZone in Rochester, New York, last July, brandished a semi-automatic pistol and demanded cash.

Eli Crespo and Jerry Vega – who were working that day – didn't cooperate. The pair beat the would-be robber with a pipe and held him at bay with his own gun.

Buckman escaped when the employees retreated into the store to call 911, but he was arrested a week later. Buckman pleaded guilty to first-degree robbery and was sentenced to 18 years in prison as a repeat violent felon.

But now, Buckman is suing the auto parts store and the two men who beat him, claiming they committed assault and battery and intentionally inflicted emotional distress.

"It seems to me a bit audacious," Patrick Naylon, the attorney for AutoZone, Crespo and Vega told CBSNews.com's Lloyd de Vries. "The plaintiff first tried to rob AutoZone with a gun, and now he's trying to rob it with a civil lawsuit."

audacious
adjective
1. Fearlessly, often recklessly daring; bold.
2. Unrestrained by convention or propriety; insolent.
3. Spirited and original.
[French audacieux, from Old French audace, boldness, from Latin audācia, from audāx, audāc-, bold, from audēre, to dare, from avidus, avid.]
"audacious." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. Answers.com 13 Jun. 2006. http://www.answers.com/topic/audacious

2 large black bags later

2006-06-12T10:46:00.000-05:00

I'm tidying the den when it hits me: there are entirely too many unplayed with toys in here. So I grab a black bag and get to work. Broken toys are trash. Toys outgrown and shabby-looking are trash. Toys missing parts are trash. Toys received free as part of a promotion are trash. Toys that have other places in other rooms are returned to said places.

When I'm done, the den looks much less like a dump. In fact, it looks downright

shipshape
adjective
Marked by meticulous order and neatness; tidy.
[Short for obsolete shipshapen, arranged as a ship should be : SHIP + shapen, past participle of SHAPE.]
"shipshape." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. Answers.com 12 Jun. 2006. http://www.answers.com/topic/shipshape

Rhymes with stirrup

2006-06-11T09:48:00.000-05:00

The oldest, who will be at the barn twice a week over the summer, wants to know. "Momma, what's the word for the noise? The one you make with your teeth and tongue and cheek? To make the horse move."

I have to think for a bit, but I finally remember.

chirrup
noun
1. A series of chirps.
2. A series of clucks or clicking sounds, such as those made to urge on a horse.
"chirrup." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. Answers.com 11 Jun. 2006. http://www.answers.com/topic/chirrup

Hush

2006-06-10T08:35:00.000-05:00

The youngest learned a forbidden phrase four days ago: shut up. We don't use that in our house. If we need someone to quiet down, we say hush, please. Or just plain hush if we're in stern mode.

I explained to the youngest that shut up isn't allowed. When the oldest and I had this same discussion, at roughly the same age, he nodded solemnly and banished the phrase from his repertoire.

The youngest, on the other hand, tried it out again. And again. And again. When he realized that saying shut up meant an automatic trip to timeout, he used that time to rethink his strategy.

The next day I heard him singing to himself. Thinking it sweet, I came closer to listen.

Ring around the shut up
A pocket full of shut up...

Timeout.

The following day found him playing with trains.

Chugga chugga shut
Chugga chugga up
Chugga chugga shut
Chugga chugga up

Timeout.

Yesterday we were riding in the car when he smiled and said Knock-knock! I smiled back at him in the rearview and replied Who's there? He beamed and said Shut! Knowing where it was going, I declined to participate further.

I'm waiting to see how he tries to work it into conversation today.

stubborn as a mule
idiom
Extremely obstinate. This simile evokes the proverbial stubbornness of mules, whose use as draft animals was once so common that the reputation for obstinacy can hardly be as warranted as the term indicates. [Early 1800s]
"stubborn as a mule." The American Heritage® Dictionary of Idioms. Houghton Mifflin Company, 1992. Answers.com 10 Jun. 2006. http://www.answers.com/topic/stubborn-as-a-mule

No

2006-06-09T07:19:00.000-05:00

A friend called me at 7:40 this morning, weeping at something completely awful done to her and to her children. And there was nothing I could do to fix it. And there was nothing I could say to make it not hurt. I sat stock still, gripping the phone with both hands, searching my mind desperately for something, anything. It was an act beyond reason, beyond explanation, and I could offer no

succor
noun
1. Assistance in time of distress; relief.
2. One that affords assistance or relief
[Middle English sucur, back-formation from sucurs (taken as pl.), from Old French secors, from Medieval Latin succursus, from past participle of Latin succurrere, to run to the aid of : sub-, sub- + currere, to run.]
"succor." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. Answers.com 09 Jun. 2006. http://www.answers.com/topic/succor

I just listened. And as much as I like to think that's useful, it's not. It doesn't help in this situation one blasted bit.

Make-A-Brit

2006-06-07T19:56:00.000-05:00

Click here.

It's rather like an animated male paperdoll.

droll
adjective
Amusingly odd or whimsically comical.
[French drôle, buffoon, droll, from Old French drolle, bon vivant, possibly from Middle Dutch drol, goblin.]
"droll." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. Answers.com 07 Jun. 2006. http://www.answers.com/topic/droll

(sing along) very superstitious...

2006-06-06T08:29:00.000-05:00

Today, of course, is 06/06/06. I predicted something bad would happen.

And it did.

(deep breath) I forgot to send a towel for the oldest to sit on during his class picnic today. I'm hoping someone else will make room on his or her own towel so that my son isn't eaten alive by

chiggers
noun, plural
Minute, six-legged, reddish larva of the harvest mite, one of various red bugs widely distributed throughout the world and common in the S United States. Attaching itself by its mouthparts to the skin of its vertebrate host, the chigger injects saliva that destroys cells and may cause an intense irritation known as red-bug dermatitis.
"chigger." The Columbia Electronic Encyclopedia, Sixth Edition. Columbia University Press., 2003. Answers.com 06 Jun. 2006. http://www.answers.com/topic/chigger

You know what? I'm not willing to take that gamble. I've been bitten. Those things itch like holy hell.

I'm leaving now to drop a towel off at school.

What Little I Understand About Genetics

2006-06-05T19:24:00.000-05:00

Litter-mates are not twins. Identical twins have exactly the same genetic complement, coming from a division of the original single fertilized egg, each half of which goes on to become a separate organism. This is apparently something of an anomaly, as identical twins are a rarity.

Litter-mates, on the other hand, are sisters: products of the same gene pool--that is, distinct combinations of the genes of the same father and the same mother--but not the exact same combination of those genes. Puppies from the same litter would be, in human terms, fraternal twins (as opposed to the identical twins cited above); as I understand it, fraternal twins involve distinct, different eggs which are fertilized simultaneously from among the father's (billions of) sperm. This is all covered in greater detail here.

This business interests me because the two girls are so similar in so many ways--strangers inevitably cannot tell them apart except by collar color--and yet they have quite distinctive personalities and talents. Snickers, the larger of the two, is boorish and dominant. Bella is smaller and more wily, often outsmarting Snickers. Bella figured out how to jump out of her potty pen outside, while Snickers looked on in wonder, unable to duplicate the feat (a month later Snickers still cannot get out of the pen). Bella has made much more progress in her potty training (though neither is ready for graduation), and she is beginning to figure out how to deal with stairs. Snickers seems blithely unaware of any of this, looking instead for Bella's next snack which can be easily taken away from her.

And littler things: Snickers will gobble down her heartworm medicine, and Bella simply cannot be enticed to do it. And once she figures out that we want her to eat something, then it's out of the question. I've tried peanut butter, corned beef, even tuna--Bella will have nothing to do with it, though Snickers is ready to break down walls to get to the feast. When we go for a walk on our leash, the two girls behave differently, but in a repeated, predictable, interlocking way--kind of like yin & yang.

So how much is each responsible for what the other is becoming? What role has Snickers's boorishness played in Bella's intellect? How has it affected Snickers to have a submissive sibling always underfoot?

It all raises so many questions about

nature versus nurture
A traditional and long-standing disagreement over whether heredity or environment is more important in the development of living things, especially human beings.

www.answers.com/topic/nature-nurture-controversy

Nightmares

2006-06-04T10:31:00.000-05:00

The youngest had his first nightmare last night. He didn't call it that, of course. Nor did he call it a "bad dream", which is the oldest's term. In fact, he didn't realize it was a dream at all, which is why it was scary to him. He truly believed someone had taken his bubble ball away; he wouldn't stop crying until I showed him that the ball was still here.

His bubble ball is a large (36 inches or so in diameter) hollow bouncing ball that resembles an oversized soap bubble. It is almost completely see-through with just a tinge of purple to it and a smattering of glitter.

smattering
noun
1. A small number or amount.
2. A slight or superficial understanding of a subject.
"smattering." WordNet 1.7.1. Princeton University, 2001. Answers.com 04 Jun. 2006. http://www.answers.com/topic/smattering

"Sucking it Up" With a Trembling Lip

2006-06-02T20:57:00.000-05:00

I work as a vet-tech in a busy animal hospital. My days are frequently exhausting and stressful. I love what I do, don't get me wrong, but on the days where the stress level is so high that it's almost palpable, the littlest things that go wrong are enough to bring anyone to tears. Today was one such day.

We treat small animals in our hospital (dogs, cats, ferrets, mice, guinea pigs, etc.) and we have four rows of kennels that are each three kennels high. The end of the work day was drawing near, and I was trying to get a head start on the end-of-shift cleaning by scrubbing the used kennels that were not occupied by any of our furry patients. As I scrubbed the kennels closest to the floor, I remembered about 4 different things of greater priority that had to be done within the next few minutes. And the dog in the cage behind me started vomiting. And the phone was ringing off the hook. And the doctor needed me across the room. And another coworker was asking me a question about how to run a blood test. You get the idea. I was starting to feel overwhelmed.

I stood up quickly, not realizing that there was an open kennel door just above me until my head slammed into one of the sharp prongs on the handle.

"AYE CHIHUAHUA!" I yelled, clamping one hand on the rapidly growing bump on my skull while walking over to help my coworker, assist the doctor, answer the phone, and clean up the vomit. These things had to be done, so I couldn't stop and think about my pain. But my head hurt. Bad. It hurt so badly in fact that I felt like crying.

When you were a little kid, tears were a perfectly acceptable reaction to impaling your skull on a metal kennel. (Ok, "impaling your skull" is a bit overdramatic, but I was in a lot of pain.) Crying is almost expected from kids when they hurt themselves. As an adult, bumping your head and then crying about it makes you look like a moron.

How did this happen? Where, along the timeline of human development, did we lose our rights to cry in public when we hurt ourselves? The fact that I knew I couldn't stop everything I was doing and cry this evening just made me want to cry even more. So instead I made everyone feel the bump on my head, and, to further legitimize my pain, I made the doctor use his vernier caliper to measure the bump.

It was 6cm x 5.4cm x 2cm.

In sharing these stats with everyone around me in an efficient, though slightly irritating way, I felt that my pain was thoroughly validated, and I was able to move on and complete my tasks. However, I still feel like crying would have been even more efficient and evoked more sympathy, and I'm still thoroughly disappointed that this is no longer an option for me.
And my head still hurts.
Going to find Tylenol now.

Maturity n.

1. Of, relating to, or characteristic of full development, either mental or physical
2. Suitable or intended for adults; composed of adults: a mature audience.
3. Worked out fully by the mind; considered

Resentment n.

Indignation or ill will felt as a result of a real or imagined grievance. See Synonyms at anger.

Aloha!

2006-06-02T19:12:00.000-05:00

I haven't been around much. I've been busy, man. My preschooler isn't a preschooler anymore--school's out! YAY! I get to have my kiddo at home with me. I'm loving it. We've been busy keeping busy basically. One thing I've been doing is putting the finishing touches on my mom's 60th birthday party. I'm excited about it because I know she's going to love it! She's been so sad for the past 7-8 months (she found out her mom had cancer and wasn't expected to live more than 6 months), with good reason. My grandmother finally is at rest--she went peacefully in her sleep (she was on a heavy morphine drip), thank heavens. Now she can finally get some rest. :o( My mother has been so tough--I don't think I would be. She's usually happy and peppy like me and I want to give her that back, even if it's for just a day. Nothing can replace her mom or completely take her mind off of her mom, but I want her to have fun and celebrate for one day. She needs a break to just... enjoy herself.

So, I've put together a Hawaii-themed party for her. I've been planning it for a while now and on June 17th, my mom will be doing the hula with us and some of her dearest friends! I've bought her a beautiful dress from Hilo Hattie--hope she likes it. I've rented tables, chairs, and tents. I bought favors and leis for the party guests. Now, I'm in the process of figuring out the menu. But, what does one eat at a...

Luau: n.
An elaborate Hawaiian feast featuring traditional foods and entertainment.
http://www.answers.com/Luau

Think before Speaking

2006-06-02T10:19:00.000-05:00

As I was growing up, my parents constantly reminded me to think before speaking. I thought at the time it was advice constructed to ensure one didn't say anything impolitic, but now I know it also refers to not dangling things in front of children. One shouldn't mention the park unless one is prepared to go to the park, because children are guaranteed to glom onto that one word, park, and not let up a relentless chorus of "Are we going to the park? You said "park". Can we go to the park? I heard you talking about the park. Park! Park! Park!"

impolitic
adjective
1. Not wise.
2. Lacking sensitivity and skill in dealing with others.
"impolitic." Roget's II: The New Thesaurus, Third Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 1995. Answers.com 02 Jun. 2006. http://www.answers.com/topic/impolitic

glom
verb
1. To take by theft.
2. To seize upon or latch onto something.
"glom." WordNet 1.7.1. Princeton University, 2001. Answers.com 02 Jun. 2006. http://www.answers.com/topic/glom

I got this from my mother

2006-05-31T15:29:00.000-05:00

Sometimes when the children are about to eat something delicious, I tell them I need to taste it first to make sure it's not poisonous. They will laugh and tell me to just take a little bite. Sometimes I fake die, then attempt to save them by making off with the delicious "poisoned" food.

Who knew I could work a piece of furniture into the mix?

credenza
noun
1. A buffet, sideboard, or bookcase, especially one without legs.
2. A piece of office furniture having a long flat top and usually file drawers.
[Italian, from Medieval Latin crēdentia, trust (possibly from the practice of placing food and drink on a sideboard to be tasted by a servant before being served to ensure that it contained no poison).
"credenza." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. Answers.com 31 May. 2006. http://www.answers.com/topic/credenza

Please grow

2006-05-29T17:43:00.000-05:00

When we go to the Children's Hospital for our regular appointments this week, the hematologist will be as kindly as ever, no matter how bad the bloodwork. But when he gets to the question about have I noticed anything since the last visit, I am going to have to tell him that when I had the youngest's feet measured for sandals this summer, I realized his feet haven't grown, not even a half-size, in a full calendar year.

He's coming up on his fourth birthday, and he still wears a toddler size 8.5.

I'm feeling quite

chapfallen
adjective
Being in low spirits; dejected and disheartened.
[From obsolete chaps, alteration of chops.]
"chapfallen." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. Answers.com 30 May. 2006. http://www.answers.com/topic/chapfallen

And very, very tired.

No relation to Sebastian

2006-05-28T22:14:00.000-05:00

There was some quite poor behavior exhibited today by a few adults at the children's park. Uncharacteristically, I said nothing. As I explained to someone later,

"The South is usually such a bastion of manners and propriety that such a glaring, persevering, and public* display of poor upbringing shocked me pretty much speechless."

bastion
noun
1. A group that defends a principle.
2. A stronghold into which people could go for shelter during a battle.
3. Projecting part of a rampart or other fortification.
"bastion." WordNet 1.7.1. Princeton University, 2001. Answers.com 29 May. 2006. http://www.answers.com/topic/bastion

Besides, I added, I had a hinky feeling.

hinky
adjective
1. Nervous.
2. Suspicious.
3. Off.
I wrote that definition. I couldn't find one on Answers.com. But take my word for it; that's what it means.

*that poor behavior occurs in private is not shocking at all, however. It's just not done in public here.

Abed

2006-05-27T08:35:00.000-05:00

I'm brought up from deep sleep by the weight of something on my chest. I still haven't opened my eyes when I hear it, the wee voice of my three year old.

"Mommy, I'm awake. Are you awake or asleep? Pick one."

I mumble, "Asleep," and feel his weight shift as he lays back down, his head nestled in the crook of my arm. His face is angled up toward mine, and his breath is still the sweet of the very young.

drowsy
adjective
1. Dull with sleepiness; sluggish.
2. Produced or characterized by sleepiness.
3. Inducing sleepiness; soporific.
"drowsy." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. Answers.com 27 May. 2006. http://www.answers.com/topic/drowsy

Tell me more, tell me more

2006-05-25T09:14:00.000-05:00

Oftentimes, I come across a concept or derivation that leaves me wanting more. Much more. Like

chakba
noun
In Classical Mayan culture, chakba was self-decapitation.
"chakba." Wikipedia. Wikipedia, 2005. Answers.com 25 May. 2006. http://www.answers.com/topic/chakba

WHAT?!?! That's it? No mention of why? No explanation of the logistics? Nothing?!?!

leave hanging
Also leave hanging in the air or in midair
idiom
Keep undecided, uncertain, or in suspense.
"leave hanging." The American Heritage® Dictionary of Idioms. Houghton Mifflin Company, 1992. Answers.com 25 May. 2006. http://www.answers.com/topic/leave-hanging

Orange... apple... peach... I have no idea

2006-05-23T18:56:00.000-05:00

I'm in the produce section with the youngest, who is asking me, from his perch in the cart, the names of various fruits and vegetables. He says, "Right!" when he considers my answer correct. Apparently, I'm being tested, though I suspect he has no idea if some of my answers are right or not.

And now he's pointing at a... a... what on earth is that anyway? I'm stumped, and pick one up to look at the produce code sticker. I've never heard of this. It's something called a

pluot
registered trademark
A pluot is a fruit developed in the late 20th century by Floyd Zaiger. It is a complex cross hybrid of plum and apricot, being 3/4 plum and 1/4 apricot in parentage. Pluots are widely available in grocery stores, and are sometimes marketed as dinosaur eggs.

See also
Aprium
Peacotum
Plumcot

"pluot." Wikipedia. Wikipedia, 2005. Answers.com 24 May. 2006. http://www.answers.com/topic/pluot

He's 81, after all

2006-05-22T18:28:00.000-05:00

My father. He's 81. Nearly 82. And sometimes he says things that don't seem to make any sense, and that flicker goes through my mind. Could he be going senile?

Today, I told him I had unexpectedly received $40 in gift cards from the grocery for pretty much just doing my basic shopping, and he chortled, "Egg in your beer!" And I thought, "What? What kind of fool malarkey is that?!?! Poor Daddy."

egg in your beer
idiom
A bonus, something for nothing. This expression dates from about 1940 and became widespread during World War II. The origin is unknown, since adding egg to beer does not improve the taste.
"egg in your beer." The American Heritage® Dictionary of Idioms. Houghton Mifflin Company, 1992. Answers.com 22 May. 2006. http://www.answers.com/topic/egg-in-your-beer

Poor Daddy nothing.

what to do what to do

2006-05-22T12:50:00.000-05:00

It has been a dream of mine to adopt an African child for years. I support a girl from Uganda though CCF, but that didn't get it out of my system, it only stokes the fire. I began reasearching the continent and the US's international adoption policies lately, because even though we won't be prepared to take in a child in the next year, I imagined the process could take years.
However, Liberia has a very fast process that can be completed in about 6 months. So I guess it doesn't take as long as I thought.

I wanted some feedback, especially from people who have kids about when to adopt.
Our baby is almost a year old, we plan to have the next baby 18 months apart from her in age. Would it seem wise to have the adopted child be
A) older than both of our kids
B) younger than both
C) in the middle, younger than one, older than the other

What do you think?

I'll be honest, I want to just put in the application right now, I'm overwhelmed by the number of:

Waiting Children
also are referred to as children with "special needs." The large majority of children adopted through state or county adoption agencies are considered waiting children. They come into the public welfare system (foster care) because of parental abuse, neglect, or abandonment.

Now that's realistic

2006-05-21T10:38:00.000-05:00

I opened up the Sunday paper this morning to find the above picture advertising swimwear in a store circular. The lovely girl on the far right is supposed to represent "plus" sizes. Apparently she wasn't plus enough, because someone felt compelled to quite badly digitally alter her lower extremities to the point that she appears to be developing elephantiasis.

disproportionate
adjective
Out of proportion, as in size, shape, or amount.
"disproportionate." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. Answers.com 21 May. 2006. http://www.answers.com/topic/disproportionate

Tools on the Calendar

2006-05-19T09:37:00.000-05:00

The oldest is home sick from school today. He was fine yesterday. He was fine last night when I left for the Scrabble fundraiser. He looked fine when I peeked in on him when we got home late last night. But this morning, upon waking up, he informed me his throat was sore and he felt awful. His eyes are red. His glands are swollen.

We had plans for today. I had errands to run this morning, the oldest had a friend coming home with him after school, and the entire family had plans to go out this evening. But an unexpected virus has thwarted all that.

throw a monkey wrench into
idiom
Sabotage or frustrate a project or plans. This transfer of industrial sabotage—that is, throwing a tool inside machinery—to other subjects dates from the early 1900s.
"throw a monkey wrench into." The American Heritage® Dictionary of Idioms. Houghton Mifflin Company, 1992. Answers.com 19 May. 2006. http://www.answers.com/topic/throw-a-monkey-wrench-into

Grocery Snobbery?

2006-05-18T09:14:00.000-05:00

On certain items, I buy specific name brands at the grocery, and I have no intention of changing. My paper towels are Viva, my cleaner of choice is Windex with vinegar, and my hot dogs are Ballpark. On other items, I am willing to buy another brand if it is on sale; bread, pasta, and pretzels fall into this category. And on still other items, I buy the store brand. Flour is flour, rice is rice, and sugar is sugar.

Soda is one of those items that falls into the "specific name brand" category for me. The name brand on which I insist is Tab.

Clearly this is not true for everyone, however.

Mountain Roar instead of Mountain Dew? Twice Up instead of Seven Up? When store brands are named thusly, they come across as

knockoffs
plural noun, informal
Unauthorized copies or imitations, as of designer clothing.
"knockoff." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. Answers.com 18 May. 2006.

Holy Roly Poly

2006-05-17T09:20:00.000-05:00

I'm going to look like a roly-poly if I don't put down this spoon.

pill bug
noun
A small terrestrial isopod crustacean of the genus Armadillidium closely related to the sow bug and having a convex, segmented, flexible body enabling it to curl into a ball when disturbed. In this sense also called roly-poly.

When I bought the new Breyer's Double Churned Extra Creamy Vanilla ice cream for the youngest, I had no way of knowing it would be heaven on a spoon. I had no way of knowing it would taste exactly like frozen whipped cream and have the same smoothness. I scoff at the "serving size" of half a cup. Puh-leeze.

decadent
adjective
1. Being in a state of decline or decay.
2. Marked by or providing unrestrained gratification; self-indulgent.
"decadent." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. Answers.com 17 May. 2006. http://www.answers.com/topic/decadent

I don't care if your license is taped to the wall

2006-05-16T17:09:00.000-05:00

I just realized I'm bitter towards hairstylists.
I have a couple of friends who are stylists, but I don't ask them to do my hair. That would ruin our friendship. (just like I think cheerleading is the stupidest thing in the world but I don't tell that to my ex-cheer friends)
I've never had a stylist who wasn't either condescending or incompetent. It's really bad when s/he is both.
Hence, I do my own hair. A few times in the past 10 years, I've gone to salons to do major work like make my dyed brown hair blonde or fill in the blonde with brown. But I've never been pleased with the experience. Even for my wedding I had a disaster the day before putting my trust in a stylist. My photographer's wife did a better job, an hour before the ceremony.
I assume most people don't care, like most people don't care if their doctor is respectful or remembers their name, but I do.

I trust no one with my

coif (koif)
n.
(also kwäf) A coiffure. To arrange or dress (the hair).
"coif." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. Answers.com 17 May. 2006. http://www.answers.com/topic/coif

Struggling

2006-05-15T19:01:00.000-05:00

Life is a bit too... well... life-like right now. My son has fully embraced the "Why?" part of being three as well as the "mini-parent" role toward his sister. My daughter has decided that anything that goes wrong or unexpectedly merits lying on the floor and sobbing. My husband is a complete stress-ball trying to get all of his hours in working from home and searching the rental ads online every 20 minutes (we have to move by June 5th). And I started a new job last week.

I feel as though I am just barely treading water.

The noun treading water has one meaning:

Meaning #1: a stroke that keeps the head above water by thrashing the legs and arms

Did I mention that we have yet to begin packing? Egad.

WordNet information about treading water
WordNet 1.7.1 Copyright © 2001 by Princeton University. All rights reserved

must... stay... awake...

2006-05-15T11:19:00.000-05:00

It's graduation time again, and I've ~~dodged every bullet~~ not been invited to one yet this year that my schedule could accomodate. It's not so much the concept of graduation that is the problem; it's the ceremonies themselves.

Inevitably, I find myself fighting sleep from the moment the first speaker hits the stage through the recitation of the graduates' names. I try to think about other things to dodge drowsiness. I pinch myself. I make my eyes go wide open. But without fail, I will catch sight of someone else yawning and BOOM! I'm yawning, too. Repeatedly.

And then people look offended that I don't find their child's graduation the most fascinating event ever. And I feel awful and sorry but mostly sleepy. Really, really sleepy.

oscitancy
noun
1. The act of yawning.
2. The state of being drowsy or inattentive; dullness.
[From oscitant, yawning, from Latin ōscitāns, ōscitant-, present participle of ōscitāre, to yawn : ōs, mouth + citāre, to move.]
"oscitancy." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. Answers.com 15 May. 2006. http://www.answers.com/topic/oscitancy

Here they grow

2006-05-13T08:20:00.001-05:00

Mother's Day is approaching, and I feel like my children are whirls of color and motion, growing up too fast. When I can catch them and still them, I look into my children's faces, wondering what they will look like as adults.

Will the youngest still have my late mother's nose? Will his hair stay that color or darken? Will he always have a thoughtful brow?

Will the oldest still have hair so thick? Will his eyes still crinkle at the edges? Will his facial expressions still be those of a

wag
noun
A person whose words or actions provoke or are intended to provoke amusement or laughter.
"wag." Roget's II: The New Thesaurus, Third Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 1995. Answers.com 13 May. 2006. http://www.answers.com/topic/wag

I want to capture them here, now, at this age, in this moment, and suspend time forever. Mother's Day is approaching again, and my heart is so full it aches.

Vanity Plate

2006-05-09T20:21:00.000-05:00

I'm driving behind a pickup truck with a sign reading Crime Scene Cleaners. There was a firm in DC that did that, specializing in cleaning up from suicides and murders. Awful to think of, but really, who wants to clean up the bad thing that happened to a loved one? I didn't realize there was a huge market here, though.

When we stop at a red light, I see that the owner of Crime Scene Cleaners has opted for a vanity license plate, reading DOA CLNR.

DOA
abbreviation
Dead On Arrival
"DOA." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. Answers.com 10 May. 2006. http://www.answers.com/topic/doa

Pardon the pun, but the first thing that went through my head was "I get it. No need for overkill." My second thought was "I've never had a vanity plate." I do notice them, though.

St. Jude Memorial March

2006-05-07T14:58:00.000-05:00

The Chicago Police Department pays tribute to those officers who have died in the line of duty with the annual St. Jude Memorial March. As my boyfriend is one of Chicago's finest men in blue (both literally and figuratively), I went to the parade today; it's only my second year attending, but I'll go every year, whether or not my boyfriend is a Chicago police officer. I'll admit, there is a part of me that finds this event more than a little titillating, as I am not immune to the appeal of thousands of men marching down the street in uniform (far from it). But as I stood there with butterflies in my stomach over the chance to see my handsome boyfriend in his uniform (or at all for that matter), I am reminded of the families in attendance that would love to see their sons or daughters in uniform just one last time as well. With the bagpipes (a requisite element of any parade in Chicago where even one Irishman will be in attendance- even if bagpipes are, in fact, Scottish) and the officers lining the parade route holding pictures of fallen compatriots, I was reminded that police officers are heroes, even if there are a few that taint the image of police officers along the way, and that I could lose my favorite one at any time. All in all, it's quite a solemn occasion.

sol·emn (sŏl'əm)
adj.
Deeply earnest, serious, and sober.

Dictionary defintion of solemn
The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition Copyrigth 2004, 2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company. Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

Rain, rain, stay awhile

2006-05-07T13:20:00.000-05:00

It's raining here today. On Sundays when I wake up to rain, I just want to bake muffins or a sweet bread, and stay in my pajamas all day. I want to linger over the fat Sunday paper. I want to have a fire. I want to sit up in bed and read, with children napping next to me, cuddled under a

duvet
noun
A soft quilt usually filled with the down of the eider.
"duvet." WordNet 1.7.1. Princeton University, 2001. Answers.com 07 May. 2006. http://www.answers.com/topic/duvet

Aloud

2006-05-06T09:45:00.000-05:00

It was my own error. I didn't realize how long it had been since the youngest ate. Strapped into a forward-facing shopping cart at Babies R Us, he began to whimper and whine. The older woman just ahead of us decided she would let him know his antics were upsetting her day, so she made a taste-a-lemon face at him. Frightened, he screamed into her face. I swung the cart quickly around and held his head in my arms while he fretted and I cooed. Evil Lady kept giving pointed looks to the cashier as she checked out. I ignored Evil Lady's attempts to make eye contact with me.

Then, thankfully, her transaction was over and we were at the register. But as she was leaving, she just had to turn around one more time to again make that face at my child. I swear I just thought it, but apparently it popped out of my mouth. I had no expression on my face, no tone to my voice, just two little words hanging in the air in front of me. "Old bag."

oops
interjection
Used to express acknowledgement of a minor accident, blunder, or mistake.
"oops." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. Answers.com 06 May. 2006. http://www.answers.com/topic/oops-1

I am my mother

2006-05-05T07:46:00.000-05:00

This morning, the oldest had a positively absurd idea. I opened my mouth to say so, and out fell my mother's words.

Are you out of your cotton-picking mind?

cotton-picking
adjective, informal, Chiefly Southern US
Used as an intensive: a cotton-picking fool; out of your cotton-picking mind.
"cotton-picking." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. Answers.com 05 May. 2006. http://www.answers.com/topic/cotton-picking

My mother used to declare me out of my own cotton-picking mind quite often as a child.

I love you, new old word!

2006-05-03T18:17:00.000-05:00

Behold my new favorite word, discovered tonight in a very old unabridged dictionary:

ugsome
adjective
Disgusting; loathsome.
"ugsome." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. Answers.com 03 May. 2006. http://www.answers.com/topic/ugsome

How did ugsome ever fall out of use? It's fabulous!

Traffic Jam

2006-05-01T12:27:00.000-05:00

When I'm stuck in traffic, my mind starts to wander. Often, I think about words. Two recent such thoughts:

1. mean is a verb, an adjective, and a noun. I'm trying to think of another such word.

2. queue and aqueous are two words that have four vowels in a row. Are there any words that have four vowels in a row that are not immediately preceded by the letter q though?

You can see why traffic is a problem for me.

If anyone has an answer to either of these, I will be mightily impressed. And grateful. They're driving me mad.

Offal is pronounced like awful

2006-04-30T18:10:00.000-05:00

I've signed up for a Scrabble fundraiser. My father misheard me and thought I said I'd signed up for a Scrapple fundraiser. No thank you.

scrapple
noun
A savory cornmeal pudding in which the cornmeal is simmered with pork scraps and trimmings, then cooled and hardened into a loaf. Scrapple is made of hog offal such as the head, heart, liver, and other scraps.
"scrapple." Wikipedia. Wikipedia, 2005. Answers.com 30 Apr. 2006. http://www.answers.com/topic/scrapple

offal
noun
1. Waste parts, especially of a butchered animal.
2. Refuse; rubbish.
[Middle English : of-, off (from Old English, from of) + fal, fall.]
"offal." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. Answers.com 30 Apr. 2006. http://www.answers.com/topic/offal

Yo, Gram. What it be. Bow-chickie-bow-wow.

2006-04-29T18:51:00.000-05:00

An AP article on the Washington Post website reads in part:

YONKERS, N.Y. -- A 62-year-old retired schoolteacher is fighting with a cable company over a hefty bill for porn and gangsta rap programming she says she never ordered.

The charges of more than $1,000 appeared on Claudia Lee's February Cablevision bill, shortly after she bundled her cable TV, computer and phone services.

"They are harassing me and trying to make me pay for something I didn't do," said Lee, who lives alone.

-snip-

Lee said the only regular visitor to her house is her 81-year-old mother, "and I don't think she wants to watch porn."

If she were Grandma Mazur from Janet Evanovich's Stephanie Plum series, she in fact would be quite interested in porn and gangsta rap.

But generally, I find grandmas and porn/gangsta rap interests

discrepant
adjective
1. In sharp opposition.
2. Made up of parts or qualities that are disparate or otherwise markedly lacking in consistency.
"discrepant." Roget's II: The New Thesaurus, Third Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 1995. Answers.com 29 Apr. 2006. http://www.answers.com/topic/discrepant

Summer is coming! Summer is coming!

2006-04-28T08:48:00.000-05:00

I hate the heat. The hate the humidity. I hate the mosquitos.

But all three are more than mitigated by the fact that school is out, so my children are home. Home.

We take it easy here. We don't set alarm clocks, we catch fireflies in the twilight, we regularly make mud in which to play. We go do things on whims; very few things are scheduled during summer. We eat nearly all of our meals in the backyard. We leave the heavy door open so we can watch sudden, fierce summer storms through the screen door; summer rain smells magnificent. We rarely wear shoes. We read on quilts laid on the back lawn. We eat all the berries and melons we want.

Summer is coming, and

the world is our oyster
idiom
Everything is going well. In this term the oyster is something from which to extract great profit (a pearl). It was probably invented by Shakespeare in The Merry Wives of Windsor (2:2): “Why then, the world's mine oyster, which I with sword will open.”
"the world is one's oyster." The American Heritage® Dictionary of Idioms. Houghton Mifflin Company, 1992. Answers.com 28 Apr. 2006. http://www.answers.com/topic/the-world-is-one-s-oyster

Bill for $ervices Rendered

2006-04-26T15:12:00.000-05:00

a.k.a. Rhapsody in Buick

Lovely amber "Check Engine $oon" flashing light====$free!
Obeying said light===================Let's itemize, shan't we?
__________________________

Check ECM system & clear-----------$75
Ignition tune-up-----------------------$150
Platinum spark plugs-----------------$78
New plug wires------------------------$63
Air filter--------------------------------$13
Fuel injection tune-up----------------$150
Fuel filter------------------------------$26
Front brake job-----------------------$150
Front rotors---------------------------$140
Front pads-----------------------------$100
5 exhaust hangers---------------------$31
Exhaust o-ring-------------------------$13
Asst. light bulb replacement---------$69
KY tax-----------------------------------$30

_______________________________________

Drum roll, please========== $1,093

I believe, even without the $2,500 we sunk into this heap a couple years ago, this qualifies my old Riviera as financial

quicksand(kwĭk'sănd')
n.

A bed of loose sand mixed with water forming a soft shifting mass that yields easily to pressure and tends to engulf any object resting on its surface.
A place or situation into which entry can be swift and sudden but from which extrication can be difficult or impossible. Often used in the plural: “This theory of the future entrapped [them] in the quicksands of Vietnam” (Arthur M. Schlesinger, Jr.).

http://www.answers.com/quicksand

Two-Tree

2006-04-25T19:09:00.000-05:00

I go to my Grandma's house every Sunday. I've been doing this since I was born, which means I've gone to my Grandma's house every Sunday for nearly 29 years. Before my dad's mom died, we went to her house, too. It's one of the most widely-celebrated traditions in my family. Every branch of the family hosts their own Sunday dinner, so I know that at noon on Sunday, all of my cousins, aunt and uncles are following the below schedule:

1. Arrive at grandma's house at noon.
2. Eat pasta.
3. Eat meatballs.
4. Eat sausage.
5. Eat salad.
6. Eat bread.
7. Drink Diet Rite.

These days my nieces are there, so in our family we can add to the list . . .
8. Stare at Rosa and Gianna and wait for them to do cute stuff, which, as you can probably tell by this picture of Gianna, it doesn't take long for that to happen.
I get to take the leftovers home because my grandparents loves my boyfriend, and he gets the leftovers. Here's how the conversation went last week:

Grandma: "You want to bring some leftovers to K?"
Sue Ellen Mischke: "Sure, Gram. I'll put them in this Tupperware container. How much meat can I take, Pop?
Poppy: "Take two-tree meatballs and a sausage."

Two-tree
n.
1. Roughly two or three in the Italian-American language.

Note to Self: Huntington. Out.

2006-04-24T18:31:00.000-05:00

From the AP Wire:

HUNTINGTON, N.Y. -- A 71-year-old man who went outside in the rain to pick up the Sunday newspaper plunged into a cesspool in his front yard, and his son and neighbor were sucked in when they tried to help.

That's awful! What a random thing to happen, huh?

It's not the first time a cesspool _ a pit that collects waste from toilets and sinks _ has swallowed someone in Huntington.

In 2001, a man practicing archery in the backyard with his two children died when his cesspool caved in and consumed him. And in 1998, a Huntington Station man was rescued after he fell 65 feet into one.

Wow. So, um, not so unheard of there, afterall.

And cesspools aren't really so much associated with cess at all.

cess
noun, Irish
Luck.
"cess." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. Answers.com 24 Apr. 2006. http://www.answers.com/topic/cess

Can I get an amen

2006-04-23T12:39:00.000-05:00

As my father loses his eyesight, I am more and more often responsible for keeping him abreast of the local written news. Part of that is letting Daddy know who has died, as well as the dates, times, and locations of visitations and funerals. For this information, I rely upon my local newspapr's obituaries.

Daddy being Daddy, he claims to know a lot of people, so I have to read through each obituary incredibly carefully to see if the decedent's path appears to have crossed my father's at any time.

Daddy also being Daddy, he goes to any funeral to which he can only possibly claim to have a tie. Daddy thinks he once met the dead man when he visited Daddy's church as a child with a classmate back in 1932? Daddy's going to the service. Don't know the dead man, but his mother was once the neighbor of Daddy's maiden aunts? Daddy's got to pay his respects.

But it's not bad, by any means. Our obituaries are fantastic, filled with love, charm, and euphemisms. And every once in a while, I come across one that begs to be read aloud.

Mr. Monte Martin, 100 years young, of 4570 Ogburn Ave., Winston-Salem, left this side of Jordan on Wednesday, April 19, 2006, for a place not made by man.

Still others make me mourn never having had a chance to meet the decedent.

Mr. Fred Hester Pegram Sr., 83, passed away at home, the same house in which he was born on June 22, 1922, to James Henry and Bertha Slater Pegram. Mr. Pegram was a big-hearted and loving husband, father, grandfather, great-grandfather and father-in-law. He enjoyed spending time with his grandkids, especially giving tractor rides and going fishing. Mr. Pegram was a very hard worker and a well-known landscaper in the community in which he never met a stranger. He loved farming, cows, and enjoyed cutting wood.

tribute
noun
1. An expression of admiration or congratulation.
2. A formal token of appreciation and admiration for a person's high achievements.
"tribute." Roget's II: The New Thesaurus, Third Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 1995. Answers.com 23 Apr. 2006. http://www.answers.com/topic/tribute

Her hairdo was her chaperone

2006-04-22T14:15:00.000-05:00

My friend Jeffrey sent this to me recently. He has a great sense of humor, and when I see that he has emailed me something he thinks is funny, it's one of the rare occasions I take the time to actually read or download the supposed funny item. I have no idea where he found this one, but I think it's a real

Hoot
n.
Informal. One that is hilariously funny: Ã“Emmett, that skirt is a hoot!Ã” (Bobbie Ann Mason).

Dictionary definition of hoot
The American HeritageÃÂ® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition Copyright ÃÂ© 2004, 2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company. Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. More from

Not what you might be thinking...

2006-04-20T19:10:00.000-05:00

Here’s another of those hidden-in-plain-sight commonplaces in India. Almost on arrival in India, I was struck by the happy omnipresence of the swastika—particularly in religious circumstances—of what is an extremely loaded and dark symbol back home. It was only after an explanation from a Hindu friend that I appreciated the significance of this quotidian icon.

quo•tid•i•an
adj.
1. Everyday; commonplace.
2. Recurring daily.
3. Ordinary.

[Middle English cotidien, from Old French, from Latin quōtīdiānus, from quōtīdiē, each day : quot, how many, as many as + diē, ablative of diēs, day.]
answers.com