Excuse me?

So I'm at the hardware store this morning, and the youngest is in the cart, seated and belted. And I half-squat-half-kneel to write down some pricing and model info on an item on a lower shelf.

And he begins to squawk "Pen! Pen!", but he isn't very good at ending sounds, so it sounds like "Peh! Peh!"

So up walks a woman who works there, cooing, "Awww, and what does this little one need?"

And I am concentrating on what I am doing and holding the pen cap in my mouth when I reply, "He wants a pen."

Next thing I know, I hear her say, "Well, I can't pet you while you're fussing like that, so I'll just pet Mommy instead. How would that be?"

AND SHE STARTED PETTING THE TOP OF MY HEAD.

garble
verb
1. To mix up or distort to such an extent as to make misleading or incomprehensible.
2. To scramble (a signal or message), as by erroneous encoding or faulty transmission.