Do the Humpty Hump

Remember the beheading of Betty Boop?

Now someone has stolen Humpty Dumpty.

I'm not sure I find the theft as troubling as the item stolen. I mean, if you are going to commit a felony, in FLORIDA, that could send you to prison, wouldn't you steal something better? Talk about setting yourself up.

"Whatcha in for?"
"Stealing Humpty Dumpty."
"Huh. Bend over. You're MY Humpty now."

Then again, who would pay more than five thousand bucks for the statue in the first place? Ah, yes, someone who would say "We will pen him up. There's always one bad egg who spoils it for everyone else.'' Har-de-har-har.

slaptastic
adjective
Utterly deserving of a good slapping.