Saturday, April 15, 2006

And not the good kind, like a belt or a scarf, either

At approximately 7:30 pm, I stepped inside the kitchen from the backyard. I carried the dirty dinner dishes, dinner having been eaten on the backyard terrace, as the evening was beautiful.

At approximately 7:31 pm, I heard the distinctive sound of glass breaking. This sound seemed to come from the backyard.

At approximately 7:31 and 5 seconds pm, I reentered the backyard via the kitchen door and found Subject A and Subject B looking down into a window well housing a basement window. I observed that the window at the bottom of the window well was broken. Furthermore, I observed a brick in the window well.

At approximately 7:32 pm, Subject A, a.k.a. "the oldest", spontaneously declared that Subject B, a.k.a. "the youngest", was responsible, saying QUOTE He broke it! Are you going to kill him? ENDQUOTE

Under further questioning, and after being reminded of the penalty for perjury lying, Subject A admitted having provided Subject B with the brick while Subject B was standing at the edge of the window well looking down. However, Subject A testified he was not present at the time Subject B actually threw the brick, having decided to take a few steps away in an effort to dodge culpability.

Subsequently, both Subject A and Subject B were found guilty of Crimes Against Mommanity and sentenced to death immediate bed with lights out.

1. One who incites, aids, or abets a lawbreaker in the commission of a crime but is not present at the time of the crime. Also called accessory before the fact.
2. One who aids a criminal after the commission of a crime, but was not present at the time of the crime. Also called accessory after the fact.
"accessory." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. 16 Apr. 2006.