Her hairdo was her chaperone

My friend Jeffrey sent this to me recently. He has a great sense of humor, and when I see that he has emailed me something he thinks is funny, it's one of the rare occasions I take the time to actually read or download the supposed funny item. I have no idea where he found this one, but I think it's a real

Hoot
n.
Informal. One that is hilariously funny: “Emmett, that skirt is a hoot!” (Bobbie Ann Mason).


Dictionary definition of hoot
The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition Copyright © 2004, 2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company. Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. More from Dictionary

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The oldest brought home The Mystery Box! today from school. This is a regular, albeit large, cardboard box decorated profusely with question marks. My son is to put something from home in it, close it, and not tell anyone what the Mystery Object is. The rest of the class can ask up to 20 yes/no questions, making one guess as to the Mystery Object after each question.

The teacher's primary objective, of course, is to hone the class's critical thinking skills. But my son's primary objective is to stump his classmates.

stump
verb
1. To reduce to a stump.
2. To clear stumps from: stump a field.
3. To stub (a toe or foot).
4. To walk over heavily or clumsily.
5. To traverse (a district or region) making political speeches.
6. To shade (a drawing) with a stump.
7. To challenge (someone); dare.
8. To cause to be at a loss; baffle.
"stump." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. Answers.com 18 Apr. 2006. http://www.answers.com/topic/stump

He hasn't yet decided. The classmate who had it last stumped them all with a measuring tape.

ding-ding-ding

I adore finding passages in books to which I relate utterly. Accordingly, I was tickled by this speech from a marvelous, little mystery by M.C. Beaton, Agatha Raisin and the Wellspring of Death. (The Agatha Raisin series I find almost as hysterical as Janet Evanovich's Stephanie Plum series.)

The speaker is one of the regular characters, describing why he loathes the grocery so much.

Do you know there is a circle in hell where I will probably end up which is one huge supermarket? The shopping trolleys always go sideways, the children always scream, I always have at least one item of shopping which doesn't have the bar code on it and so I wait and wait until someone goes and finds one with the bar code and the people in the lengthening crowd behind me hate me. Or when I get to the check-out at the Express Lane, Nine Items Only, three people in front of me have at least twenty items and I haven't the courage to protest. Or the woman at the till who knows everyone in the line except me indulges in long and happy chit-chat and when it gets to me she decides to change the roll of paper in the till. Or the woman in front of me watches all her groceries sliding along and stares at them without packing them, and then she slowly takes out her cheque-book and slowly proceeds to write a cheque and then insists on carefully packing her plastic shopping bags according to type of grocery. And then when it's all over and I get to the revolving doors and see daylight outside, I suddenly find myself back at the beginning of the whole process.

Exactly.

resonate
verb
1. To exhibit or produce resonance or resonant effects.
2. To evoke a feeling of shared emotion or belief.
3. To correspond closely or harmoniously.
"resonate." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. Answers.com 16 Apr. 2006. http://www.answers.com/topic/resonate